I dared myself to write a logline a day six months. Here is that collection of film ideas that will probably never see the light of day.
When a presenter accidentally announces the wrong film for Best Picture at the Oscars, the losing cast and crew are thrust into a terrifying alternate reality where they must create a winning film to get back home.
184. Human Aliens
When it’s discovered that a destructive breed called “humans” are on their way to Trappist-1f, the leader of the Alien Repel and Resist Squad must enlist its fellow beings to fight this alien race before they destroy their peace-loving planet.
183. Black Friday
After a man who is nearly trampled to death by a stampede of consumers on Black Friday awakes in the hospital, his ward mate—an elderly Sioux man—tells him of the real origins of Thanksgiving, causing him to dream that he is a Sioux youth enslaved by early Americans who must fight for survival in a changing world.
182. Taking Thanks
In 1637, when Pequot sachem Sassacus returns to his village to discover that the English settlers have massacred almost all of his people, he sets out to destroy the evil invaders not only for revenge but also in an attempt to save his culture and people from being completely snuffed out by this foreign threat.
181. True Enlightenment
When author David Mitchell is visited as a youth by a benevolent eternal spirit, he learns it is his destiny to write successful novels to help prepare the world population for The True Enlightenment, the day in 2020 when these sentient creatures will reveal themselves and the real meaning of human consciousness.
Want to read how the story continues? Pick up The Bone Clocks by David Mitchell.
179. Temper, Temper
When his secretary falls ill, a short-tempered high-powered CEO is forced to hire his wife’s forgetful niece as a temp and must learn to control his temper before his marriage and company collapse from under him.
When a young woman discovers that her cancer has metastasized, with the support of her family she dedicates her remaining time and energy to becoming an advocate for the right to die movement.
177. Up the Wazoo
When an alcoholic proctologist is suspended for telling a class of high school students to put tampons soaked in vodka up their butts, he begins a new “hangover prevention” business out of the back of his station wagon by hooking up drunken party-goers to a drip of saline and vitamins, only to discover that the FDA is on to him and he must straighten out if he ever intends to get his old life back.
176. Girls Weekend
When two girlfriends meet at their favourite resort for a ‘girls only’ weekend, what neither of them realizes is that the real reason they both love that hotel so much is not for the amenities but rather the Latino pool boy and must both struggle to hide their relationships with Raoul from each other before Girls Weekend is completely ruined.
175. Slow Motion
When a young, high-flying corporate lawyer who has always been the life of the party discovers coincidentally that he has an undiagnosed brain tumor he must learn, with the help of his former high school sweetheart, to slow down and enjoy the life he previously wasted in boardrooms and nightclubs.
174. Up and Down: A Documentary
A documentary film which follows the lives of three people with bipolar disorder from diagnosis over the course of 20 years to show their successes and setbacks while learning to adjust to their illness.
173. Cat Lady
When a feisty tom-cat—one of 99 felines owned by a caring cat-lady—finds his owner crying over a photo of her ex-husband in the bathroom, he rallies his kitty compatriots to help her find love in a world that doesn’t understand her commitment to her furry friends.
172. The Tunnel’s End
When a determined detective who spent his career trying to unravel the mystery of a missing girl is shot, his dying mind revisits the details of the case through flashback, helping him to not only reconstruct and solve the case but also determine the identity of his killer.
171. Bitter Sweet
When his most crotchety best friend passes away and suddenly everyone is speaking well of the dead man, an even grouchier old man vows to use the last of his life to make sure no one forgets how grumpy he was when he was alive, only to discover that his mission of spreading surliness will be almost impossible when he is forced to take care of his adorable, sweet-tempered granddaughter for the entire summer.
170. Dog Gone
When Rex the dog learns that he is allergic to humans, he sadly sets out into the wildness to live with a group of feral dogs, only to discover that there is a pack of wolves tormenting the dogs, forcing Rex to use the special talents he learned from his humans to fight this brutal enemy.
169. All Saints
When a well-meaning Catholic boy learns that All Saints Day celebrates saints both known and unknown, he becomes convinced that he is a saint and sets out on an epic goodwill mission across New York City with his Jewish best friend to be recognized as such.
168. The Haunt Haters
When a haunt-hating ghost learns that his friends are intent on tormenting his favourite former teacher on Halloween, he makes it his mission to show them that the practice of spooking is outdated and that they should focus on helping the living instead of terrifying them.
When Birdie the Early Bird is murdered, Officer Big Mac teams up with Ronald McDonald, Mayor McCheese and the French Fry Kids to catch the ruthless killer Grimace and his accomplice the Hamburgler before more residents of McDonaldland are slaughtered.
166. The Swindle
When a group of screw-up thieves and petty crooks plan the heist of the century at the world’s largest casino in Las Vegas, they quickly learn the extent of their criminal ineptitude and must figure out how not to get caught in the wake of the greatest failed swindle of all time.
165. Johnny Asshole
In a distant future in which people are assigned surnames at the age of 23 based on their personalities, a surly 22-year-old Naming Department employee learns that he is destined to become “Johnny Asshole” and must struggle to change his ways for the better before his whole life is tainted by this derogatory handle.
164. Super Olivia
When a heroic politician learns that two evil mayoral candidates intend to corrupt the metropolis she loves, she must collect her strength, support and superpowers to win the race and stop them before they destroy the city.
163. Lion Lights
After repeated lion attacks threaten his family’s livelihood, 13-year-old Kenyan Richard Turere invents a motion-detection lighting system that will prove to protect not only his own cattle stock but also transform his entire Maasai community.
When civil unrest breaks out in Istanbul’s Taksim Gezi Park on her summer holiday, a German-born Turkish woman befriends a group of progressive protesters and becomes immersed in the struggle for democracy in the face of Erdoğan’s authoritarianism.
161. License and Registration
When an amateur private investigator attempts to locate the owner of an long-unused car, she discovers the owner is the victim of a suspicious unsolved murder and sets to work to unravel the mysterious case.
160. The Delirium of Negation
When a new patient with a delusion that she is dead is referred to neurologist Jules Cotard in 1880, he dubs her Mademoiselle X and becomes increasingly obsessed with unravelling the nature of her condition and must attempt to cure her before her own self-inflicted demise.
159. Casual Friday
When a couple of disgruntled office workers accidentally spike the water cooler at work with liquid LSD on casual Friday, they begin to discover how much they really love their jobs as they struggle to control the most out-of-control workday in history and keep the themselves from being fired come Monday.
When a straight-laced woman returns a credit card she found in the pocket of a panda costume while Hallowe’en shopping, she unwittingly stumbles into the adorable world of “furry fandom” in which she begins to develop her new fursona and simultaneously fall for the intriguing cardholder.
157. The Long Haul
When a loner long-haul trucker discovers a teenage runaway hidden in his load, he vows he will return her to her family, only to learn that she is in fact his daughter from a long-ago affair and that she has no intention of going back to her mother.
After winning the Turkish War of Independence in 1923, Mustafa Kemal Atatürk begins his massive political, economic and cultural reforms to create a modern Turkey, only to be faced with opposition from within his own nation which must also be besieged.
155. Maple Syrup Moon
When an enormous storm grounds all flights the day after their wedding, a newly married man intent on giving his wife the honeymoon she always wanted takes her on an imagination-filled rained-in vacation of a lifetime using nothing more than what he can scavenge in their small community and a little help from some good friends.