Cold Ingredients Tossed in a Bowl? You’ve Got Yourself a Salad!

Eating healthy with the power of salad.

While salad was originally considered to be a side dish composed primarily of raw leafy greens, a salad nowadays can be almost anything below room temperature tossed in a bowl. Pasta. Potato. Ambrosia. All salads, therefore: All healthy!

Below are some of our new favourite salad recipes that you can enjoy guilt-free!

Weiner Salad
1 cup of chopped up hotdogs
1 cup bacon, crumbled
1 cup of grated cheddar
Dressing: Half a bottle of ranch

Stir together in a large bowl. Serve using salad tongs. 

Cookie Salad
1 cup of crushed cookies (your choice)
Dressing: 1 can of whipped cream

In a salad bowl, spray whipped cream directly onto cookies. Serve with a sprig of mint. 

Ice Cream Salad
2 cups of ice cream

Scoop into a bowl. Eat. Salad!

Scammers are Artists, too.

I’ve been getting a lot of spam from scammers lately. Reading these eloquently constructed, high concept emails, I’m starting to understand why they are called scam “artists”. They truly are masters of the written word. I still think they could benefit from the guidance of an expert in the craft, however, so I’ve taken the liberty below to critique these pieces and provide helpful feedback that they could incorporate to make their very-true stories even more compelling (and grammatically correct)…

Dr. Mikko Juho needs some serious grammatical help for his VERY IMPORTANT MATTER:

Scammer1

Before Ally Berg can be friends/companions/pen pals, she’ll need to focus on proofreading:

Scammer3

Mr (sic) Anvanith Gui has some issues with specificity:

Scammer2

Excerpts from My Grade School Diary

Apparently I’ve always had a thirst for romance and a flair for over-dramatization.

June 12, 1995, age 10:

“Dear Diary, I want someone who I can hold hands with, tell them I love them all the time. I want a guy that will tell me to hold his jacket or sweater or something. I want a guy who will not be shy and he will tell me he loves me all the time, too. Basically, I want a nice, attractive, romantic guy.”

April 20, 1996, age 11:

“Okay, here’s my DREAM DATE!! First it’s about dusk and we take a long walk along the beach. Then we come to a gazebo and it’s got mood lights all around with candles and great supper. After we’re finished there’s a boat on the shore, we cast off. When we’re far away from shore we put down the anchor and take out the seats and we lay down in the bottom of the boat looking up at the stars and rock back and forth.”

December, 1998 (A Dream), age 14:

“I’m riding on an almost empty bus with Brad Pitt. I am sitting with him and talking for a long while. I’m sitting by the window and he’s on on the outside. All of a sudden I lean over and we’re kissing. We kiss for a long time (which is VERY good). We are on the way to Hollywood. But as we get closer Brad turns into a snot. The process is slow, but eventually he is really snotty with a snobby attitude.”

January 3, 1999, age 15:

“Only a year til the Millennium! Happy New Year! Me and X have been seeing each other for about a month now. That is a really long time for me. I’m not sure if I want to commit though. There are so many options, I don’t know if I’m ready to settle down with one person.”

April 7, 2000, age 16:

“Anyways, tonight I went to X’s house with Y and X. We had a big bottle of vodka and I had an empty stomach. Like, half a glass later– Lauren’s hammered. I couldn’t stand up straight, my eyes were fuzzy, I couldn’t see, I was dizzy, slurred words, trouble with co-ordination, etc… so it turns out I’m a destructive drunk.”

The TRUE Meaning of GoT “White Walkers”

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Here’s a fun ad-lib from the Game of Thrones Season 7, Episode 3 “The Queen’s Justice” in which Jon Snow and Tyrion basically just discuss climate change.

CLIMATE CHANGE = White walkers
GLOBAL WARMING = The dead
OCEAN ACIDIFICATION = The Night King

JON SNOW: GLOBAL WARMING is coming for us all… It’s hard for me the fathom, it really is. If someone told me about CLIMATE CHANGE and OCEAN ACIDIFICATION… You probably don’t believe me. Grumpkins and Snarks, you called them, do you remember? It was all nonsense.

TYRION: It was all nonsense and everybody knew it. But then Mormont saw it, and you saw it and I trust the eyes of an honest man more than I trust what everybody knows.

JON SNOW: How do I convince people who don’t know me that an enemy they don’t believe in is coming to kill them all?

TYRION: People’s minds aren’t made for problems that large. CLIMATE CHANGE, OCEAN ACIDIFICATION, GLOBAL WARMING, it’s almost a relief to confront a familiar monster like my sister.

JON SNOW: I need to help prepare my people for what’s coming.